2011

the year is quickly approaching its halfway mark and i am no where near reaching my goals.
i do not have another draft of 'sweet blood', nor do i have many more pages of 'beyond the walls', and 'sathanas' has been lost into the ether of finished and unpublished projects, similar to all the poems and prose i have written over the years and shoved into a file somewhere. all of them are there for me, in their proper place whenever i choose to look at them again, like on the rare occasion when i enter a poetry contest, but for the most part they just sit there, mocking me with their letters that are strung together in half coherent run-on sentences and paragraphs that could be expanded to pages and pages of brilliant scenes and amazing connections.
the only excuse i have to offer for this gross inequity of accomplishments is: my family and i were sick for half the year, and while this is a truth the other truth of that statement is that that excuse is getting old. it has been used too much, and voiced even more to become the crutch i fall on as to why i have accomplished nothing this year.
but, ya know what the strangest part of all of this is?
i have found myself again,
truly honed down to my core
i am finally ready
to say to the world:
this is me!
this is who i am!