Last night at 3am I awoke from a sound sleep, my daughter’s voice sounding in the night, but the call was not for me and as she fell back into a restful sleep I lay still and made the attempt to go back to sleep. While I was lying there I had these notions and writing prompts running through my head, a list of things to do, but I thought, no, I will not write these down, I will lay here and be still, and I will go back to sleep.
After a time, and a false start, I did go back to sleep, but since when I awoke this morning I felt just as horrible as if I hadn’t slept, then I’ve just learned an important lesson – next time I will turn on the light of my cloudy vintage lava lamp, and write down those thoughts with a pen onto paper by the greenish-yellow light cuz now that I am here, in this quiet space, they are elusive, floating through my head, the barest hints of images forming in my mind, but as soon as I try to hold onto one of them they disintegrate, like so many other grandiose notions within the time space continuum of every day life, and the consistency of weekly coffee and cookies on Thursday evenings.
This day, this week, this month, perhaps it could even be said, that this year the only consistency within my life has been this space of coffee and cookies, and so what do I do with the consistency? I change it up just a bit, make it into just another mad dash from one obligation to the next, and suddenly this quiet space of coffee and cookies has become too quiet, the coffee too hot, the cookies too plentiful, and my mind is stopped in its tracks and cannot remember a damn thing from those thoughts between that indescribable moment of sleeplessness and sleep … those moments when your mind is finally quiet and you can truly hear what the muse is trying to say to you, truly hear the definition and conjugation of her words, rather than the glimpses received during the bright lights of day, it is this time when the muse speaks clearly and concisely, and it is that time of night when I should be writing – cuz, seriously, who needs sleep anyway?
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